Happy Birthday Demi!
There are people who get you. There are people who don’t need you to become their ideal of you, and will encourage you to inhabit your own. There are people who will laugh with you, people who will flirt with you, who will keep you company and will know when to leave you alone. There are people who will work with you, who will plan with you. will brainstorm with you and will collaborate to manifest your shared and separate visions. Someone admires you. Someone desires you. Someone is loving enough and understanding enough to call you on your shit without making you feel like shit. They will challenge you, they will encourage you. They will hear and see you and feel you. They are ready to be real with you - to be gentle and firm with you - They are ready to love you. You have your own tribe. You have your own team. You have your own version of family. Leave the rest alone.-not mine,found this somewhere on the net :)
Born with a void hard to destroy with love-Marina and the Diamonds
When i was really young i had a very important person in my life that first introduced me to the word feminist. There was one quote ‘Feminists fuck better’ in which i first encountered this word .That beautiful girl ,a great feminist at heart, set the pillars of my feministic attitude. I didn’t quite understand the quote until recently, i was a kid back then so you can’t blame me. Further on, another person with the same name developed that spirit in me .Singing songs such as ‘Can’t Hold Us Down’, ‘Underappreciated’, ‘Still Dirty’ and many more Christina Aguilera made me a better feminist. I’m gonna start this post by somehow defying the term feminism since it is often misunderstood .In this post I am very frequently going to turn to some of the feministic figures that have inspired me throughout the years and i am going to try and explain women why we need feminism trying to change their minds if possible and arise their conscience when it comes to the issue .
Feminist : a person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.
First of all, since we have this definition here let me start with the most misunderstood part when it comes to feminism- the belief that feminists are anti men. WE are not anti-men. We LOVE men, we LOVE them dearly. The one’s worth loving. The gentlemen and the one’s that accept our value and power and importance. These ones we cherish and cater to. We are against the oppressors, the rapists, the patriarchal male because all of them stop women from developing in their full potential. We are against men that look at women as sexual objects and toys to play with. Therefore we stand for equality. We’re not only against men but against the society and the pressure that comes from it, and the society is made up by men AND women.
So that you guys see that we don’t hate men, I’m gonna talk a little bit about the men we do respect. The previous summer i had the chance to meet a brilliant guy who met a beautiful girl, they’re dating for one year now. He actually restored my faith in men. Sometimes you see men like that and you wish you went to their mother and hugged her and say to her
-Thank you for raising such a wonderful man!
When i met this guy that is a genuinely a good person i started rethinking what i ask for in a man. And after a few more experiences throughout the year things have become even clearer. I love to see a guy that’s completely and unapologetically himself. I love it when I see a group of guys who are so caught up in their discussion that they don’t turn when a hot girl passes by. I love when a guy is protective of his friends, and when he treats his mother with respect. I have so much respect for men that have gone through a lot but still manage to smile through all the bullshit. I think it’s so sexy when a guy is nice to children and animals. When they do pay attention to what you’re saying. I love guys with beer bellies and cute smiles ,and guys that are so huggable that you just wanna squeeze them. I love guys in hoodies. I love gay people, they’re so much fun, especially the creative ones. You can talk to them about anything. I don’t like football but I love it when a guy gets angry when his team is loosing because the team represents his heart and soul.I love the untouchable ones because it’s almost ridicilous how they claim they have no soul when you know that those kind of people are the best kind of people.I love it when a guy doesn’t fall in love easily,when he doesn’t say ‘I love you’ easily. I like honest and real guys .I love it when they fully accept and respect women.
You know it makes me unhappy
When brothas make babies, and leave a young mother to be a pappy
And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it’s time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don’t we’ll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
And since a man can’t make one
He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one
So will the real men get up
I know you’re fed up ladies, but you gotta keep your head up-Tupac
Those are the people I respect, but opposite of them are the men I spit on for everything they are. Men I’m disgusted by.
I’ve met women in my life that had to be a male and a female at the same time. That had to take care of the house and the kids and had to go to work. Women that were not afraid of physical work ,women that lost a child and keep a smile on their face and try to make a positive change in the world and to these strong women i bow down. I admire them for their courage and strength and i wish i was half of what they are. I know women that are teachers and politicians and nurses and doctors and engineers and architects and pharmacists and lovers and mothers and housewives and women that are everything. The only difference that i see between men and women are the sexual roles we play in this play called life and the different sexual energies we are blessed with or that we sometimes adopt. We complete the puzzle. Now, the stereotypes of women have brainwashed them. A woman should be tender and cute and sweet and nurturing ,and all of this is good only if that is who you really are. A lot of women sometimes stupid themselves down for the attention of men. And that is exactly why we need feminism. If there is a big rock in the middle of the road most of the women would not even try to lift it and would say they can’t. Try it, give it your best and if you really can’t then let the men do it. We need feminism to open the minds of women that are handling some of the following problems. To help them understand that they don’t need to go through certain things ,
to help them handle the pressure of society and make them stronger. Here are some problems women are victims of.
There is so much pressure on women and how they’re supposed to look and the sad part is that the same pressure is mostly created by women. Women are so hateful towards each other, they see each other as competitors and are always bitching around. I don’t think a man really bothers if you have a few kilos more. But women constantly diss other women’s bodies to cover their insecurities . You all have that friend that disses on ‘fat’ girls who are wearing leggings . I used to do that too, until I realized that there can be millions of reasons to wear leggings. Sometimes girls do it for body acceptance. They’ll be like ’ Today I’ll be wearing this leggings and I won’t give a shit what anyone thinks’. Body acceptance is the most difficult thing and if you’re doing it for the same reason, I salute you brave soul! I’m sorry if my huge, fabulous body scares you. Actually, NO ,I’m not sorry! This goes for the plus sized women but also for the one’s that might not be curvy. The media has created some impossible standards of beauty for women and the same have brainwashed men. They expect us to look like the paper doll 24/7.Reality check honey, that girl is fiction, created by Photoshop. All our lives we try to look like barbie dolls but we are more than that, we are souls and brains and hearts. Another thing i dislike is the sentence REAL WOMEN do this, and real women do that …real women do whatever the fuck they want, they look however the fuck they want ,dress however the fuck they want and ALL women are real women.
It’s in our human nature to think that beauty is everything. We see pretty people and immediately think-they’re happy. But the most troubled, sad, depressed souls I’ve ever met are the ones that are pretty on the outside. And I think it’s harder for them cause everybody sees their beauty but no one sees the pain. I have some astonishingly beautiful creatures in my life and each one of them has a sad story behind. So, ladies when you see a pretty woman- complement her. You’ll make her day! No matter how insecure you feel, complement her and you’ll feel better instantly. I’m sure that has been told to that person billion times before but everyone loves complements.
Perfection is a disease of a nation -Beyonce
Now, all the fuckin fitness instructors are going to be like ‘she’s fat ,she needs to lose weight to be healthier’ but, you stupid ass motherfucker ,you can have few more kilos and be perfectly healthy and be skinny but terribly ill. I’m not an advocate for obesity, that’s a whole other thing. That’s a decease, but you don’t help people by making them hate their own bodies and feel like shit. Let’s face it, it’s not about health it’s about perfection. Buying air max sneakers, running and healthy lifestyle became a trend nowadays but the sad part is most of the girls are doing it either for perfection or for instagram and fb.
And it’s not just about the big girls it’s also about the skinny ones. Who said you’re not pretty if you have no breasts? Your boyfriend? Maybe it’s time for a new boyfriend babe! Look at Kate Moss rocking that look for quite a while. No titties , flat stomach , skinny but she’s iconic.
Every body type is beautiful. Just find out who you are, what works for you and your personal style and fuck the rest. If you’re bigger and happy with it cause you just enjoy filling yourself with cupcakes and chocolate let it be!
Your sexiness is defined by concentric circles within your wood
It is wisdom
You are a goddamn tree stump with leaves sprouting out Reborn- Mary Lambert
'She deserved it for dressing that way, for acting slutty, for being flirty.'
Now i’m gonna quote Oprah Winfrey:
"No is a complete sentence".
Mh, a complete fuckin sentence you asshole. Women can dress however they want .A lot of people have something against female singers that take their clothes of-i don’t. I think that’s empowering if you do it once in a while and as long as it does not overshadow your talent. Why is it such a big deal when a woman shows off a little bit of skin?
Why is a woman’s sexuality always under so much scrutiny?
Why can’t she do exactly as she please without being called a million things?-Christina Aguilera
I think that leading figures should take off their clothes until it is no longer shocking. Until sexuality and sex are accepted as normal. It is not my fault that the man can’t keep his snake in his pants. Instead of taking women’s rights to dress however they want, try and teach men not to rape. We need feminism to help women that have gone through such thing to speak out and as Angelina Jolie said it :
"We must send a message around the world that there is no disgrace in being a survivor of sexual violence, that the shame is on the aggressor.”
Just yesterday I came across an artist called Angel Haze who have openly spoken about rape in her song Cleaning Out My Closet. When I first heard it I started crying. This is what rape can do, rape goes on beyond the physical. Haze sings:
So I’mma take you fuckers back into the vortex of time
When I was 7 envision me at the bottom of stairs
And I solemnly swear that this is the truth no fallacy here
See I was young man… I was just a toddler a kid
And he wasn’t the first to successfully try what he did…And then it happened then at home where everybody fucking knew
And they ain’t do shit but fucking blame it on youth
I’m sorry mom but I really used to blame it on you
But even you by then wouldn’t know what to do…I thought of offing myself I thought of killing these niggas
Wanted to take a fucking brick and push their teeth through their liver…I tried to kill I tried to hide I tried to run from myself
There was a point in my life where I didn’t like who I was
So I create the other people I would try to become
Sexuality came into play and with as scarred as I was
I was extremely scared of men so I start liking girls
I started starving myself fucked up my bodily health
I didn’t want to be attractive to nobody else-Angel Haze /Cleaning Out My Closet
I will always win against the patriarchal male-Sister Jude ( AHS)
Women belong in the kitchen. If you put me in the kitchen i’m gonna burn the house down. Literally. Don’t get me wrong, there are some women that are very comfortable in that place and i admire them, but there are some that want to go to college and travel and see the world. Be wild and free. Both are ok, but i’m against a society that after girls are born labels them as housewives. A machine for babies. Haven’t you ever heard that some women don’t want to be mothers? I personally appreciate such women for their awareness. I’d rather people not have a baby than leave them in orphanages and stuff like that. It’s good to have respect for the father figure, I appreciate my father so very much. But why would my mother be less important than my father? To say that the man is the head of the family is stupid. If the man is the head then the woman is the neck, and what’s head without a neck? Patriarchy teaches people to respect the male figure in the family, I respect whoever respects me regardless of gender, color or sexual orientation.
#whores vs bitches
We need feminism because one of the leading male figures in my life told me that all women are whores, and when I asked if he thinks I’m a whore, he said -Well, you’re a woman too. That really hurt me, he was joking but really i was disappointed to hear someone talk like that. Especially, when all your life you tried hard to be exactly the opposite. Even if some women act whorish don’t you think that is a deeply troubled human being? If you don’t like them, why do you date them? When bragging about your BMW what kind of women do you think you’ll attract? Don’t mix whores with prostitutes. There’s a difference, at least to me there is. A prostitute is an honest job. You go there, have sex, you pay and you leave. A whore is a woman that goes with men for money. She needs a sugar daddy to survive. Now, men tend to call promiscuous women whores, but really, those whores are just women acting like men do. I’m not gonna lie, i sometimes judge these women too. It’s in our nature to judge, but at least i try not to. Sometimes when i think such negative thought i immediately think of something else. Music . Babies. Food. Cause i have no right to judge anyone .Plus that’s one more example of a double standard.
If you look back in history It’s a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore
I don’t understand why it’s okay
The guy can get away with it & the girl gets named
All my ladies come together and make a change
Start a new beginning for us everybody sing. –Christina Aguilera
I can demonstrate this with something that happened recently. Miley Curus’ VMA performance. Yes, the purpose of it was to shock the world but the reactions were ridiculous. Everybody were like’ Miley Cyrus twerked on Robin Thicke, but no one said Robin Thicke grinded on Miley Cyrus. Miley was immediately labeled as a whore though she had been dating her then fiancé Liam Hemsworth for 3 or 4 years. DOUBLE STANDARDS.
Yes female singers adopted the word ‘BITCH’ and very frequently use it in their songs. But it’s sort of a defense mechanism .I’m gonna quote Christina Aguilera:
I THINK EVERY WOMAN AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER IN THEIR LIFE HAS BEEN CALLED A BITCH. FOR A LONG TIME I HAD A REAL PROBLEM WITH THAT WORD, I DIDN’T LIKE IT AND I THOUGHT IT WAS DEROGATORY. BUT I’VE GOTTEN TO A PLACE NOW WHERE I’VE MADE A LOT OF PEACE WITH IT. IT’S BEEN SO OVERUSED AND MADE TO SEEM SO DEROGATORY TOWARDS WOMEN THAT I’VE ADAPTED IT INTO AN EMPOWERING FEELING FOR MYSELF. IF I’M A BITCH THEN I’M A BITCH, IF THAT’S WHAT AN ASSERTIVE WOMAN IS TO YOU. SO I’VE SORT OF ADAPTED IT AS A BADGE OF HONOR.
It’s not about using the word to address someone, it’s about the context in which you use it.The intonation with which you pronounce it. It’s the same as with the word nigga, half of the people using it are not even trying to be racist, but you just call you’re white friends niggas because you feel really gangsta J The same goes for ‘bitch’. I address my girls like bitches but I don’t think they’re bitches, I’m obviously joking, and joking is fine. Sadly when most of the rappers use it it comes from a place of superiority. They want women to be objectified and submissive.
Just like that, you see the fruit of the confusion
He caught in a reality, she caught in an illusion
Bad mean good to her, she really nice and smart
But bad mean bad to him, bitch don’t play your part
But bitch still bad to her if you say it the wrong way
But she think she a bitch, what a double entendre-Lupe Fiasco
My body my choice. No it’s not a human being. Stop that ridiculous attitude .
I once heard a woman say ‘If you’re ready to have sex then you should be ready to be a mother’
REALYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? So ignorant.
I’m sorry that our bodies have the normal need for sex. Sometimes shit happens and you can’t predict it. The new law for abortion is just a tool the government uses so that the number of newborns increases. So that our Macedonian spiecies can reproduce well. The government doesn’t give a fuck about you. On those additional consultations they’ll play with your mind to make you keep the baby. If you don’t want the baby my advice is abort it. If you have no money abort it.If the baby is deformed -abort it. If you’re sick abort it. If it was rape abort it. Or simply you’re not ready abort it. Now they’ll tell you about the consequences and terrify the shit out of you and tell you that sometimes after their abortions women become sterile, they can’t have children anymore. That indeed can happen but happens rarely. I know women that had more than 2 abortions and have children. And even if that happens-adopt. There are so many children waiting to have the perfect home, wait for a little bit of love. ADOPT.
#marriage and love
Cinderella and prince charming have brainwashed thousands of women .The romanticized idea that the prince will save you made women weaker and submissive. It’s almost disgusting. Whatever you’re going through , no one can save you, no one but yourself. Don’t make it about him, because if one day he is gone you’ll be more messed up than ever before. Make it about you, love yourself first and then find someone to share that love with. Romanticizing can lead to severe obsessions. The need for someone to save you can make you obsess over a certain person even more. Sometimes you give that person characteristics that they don’t even posses and fall in love with your version of them all because you like to live a fairy tale, because you like the idea of love. It’s not fair for you OR for him.
A Nigerian acquaintance once asked me if I was worried that men would be intimidated by me. I was not worried at all. In fact it had not occurred to me to be worried because a man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the kind of man I would have no interest in. But still I was really struck by this. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now, marriage can be a good thing. It can be a source of joy and love and mutual support, but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same?-Chimamanda Adichie
The pressure of marriage has always been there. But some people just don’t want marriage or they’re not ready or they haven’t found the right partner yet. In our society if a woman is not married and hasn’t got kids by the age of 30 she’s considered a failure. ’But the biological clock is ticking’ you’ll hear someone say –Bitch (cause it’s usually a woman, an older one, an ignorant one) my mom had me at 39 and she is a one kick ass of a mom, I couldn’t have asked for a better mother. If that person wants a baby who needs a husband to have kids? The science has developed so much, and there are so many options for women. IF that person wants a baby. Now, that person might have a room full of awards and yet she’ll still be considered a failure.
Romantic love is manipulating women. I learned this through my own experiences and the experiences of those around me. You know that good girl bad boy romance? You know why good girls love bad guys? I’m the expert of this, I’m gonna reveal it to you. Cause since we were so young we watched all these teen movies where the nerdy girl falls for the bad boy, the handsomest guy in the school while he dates the most popular girl in the school. Obviously the girl thinks she’s out of his league but eventually they fall in love, and the popular girl is bloody jealous, but still true love wins in the end. He ends up with the girl with glasses and braces because he sees her inner beauty. We were taught to love and nurture this idea and we tend to romanticize things (Oh, another thing why good girls date bad boys is because they love the adventure that comes with them) and we become submissive and awfully disrespectful towards ourselves. We get lost in our own desires and suddenly our life becomes all about him. And when it turns out that life is not a movie we have a break down. We drink to forget, vomiting our souls in the toilets in the clubs, some turn to other vices. Some date other guys to forget about the heartbreaker(which is stupid and it’s completely unfair towards that other guy).Some women for the sake of the romantic love would even forgive cheating, or there are the women that go with men that cheat on their girlfriends with them. Here’s my advice to the latter ones-if he’s willing to cheat with you he’ll be willing to cheat on you, that’s all about the guy’s character. I think women get lost so often because they forget their worth. Once you realize who you are there’s no fucking with you.
#why are women so complicated
Let me fuckin explain it to you. I’mma start with our body. Each month we bleed out of our vaginas and if we don’t bleed then there’s something wrong with our bodies. During or before the PMS hormonal stuff make us complete fuckin monsters .I know that you as men will never understand, cause i didn’t understand it for a long time either until i caught myself jelling at my mom for no obvious reason. Usually if we don’t bleed it’s pregnancy. FUCK!You didn’t see that coming! During the pregnancy we carry a child for nine months and we get stretch marks all over our bodies and gain weight (then the beauty standards fuck us all over again) and we get milk out of our breasts(how amazing is that!),and we have to stress about what we should eat so that the milk is healthy for the baby and so much more. And then the pain of giving birth. But we don’t care as long as our babies are fine. My point was- because our whole nature is complicated. If you say no to a guy you’re prude, if you go out with him you’re a slut—>this kind of labels make it really hard for us to relax and do whatever is on our mind. Also, because society makes us very insecure and it’s really hard to act the way you want to when you have that much pressure. Men have much more freedom in this world unlike women that need to work hard to earn that freedom.
Women should be emotional,sensitive,passive,quiet,innocent,nurturing,flirtitious,weak
Men should be independent, non emotional,agressive,tough,competitive,clumsy,experienced,strong,active,self confident, rebellious and so on. These stereotypes are working against us. I recently told a friend of mine that a female friend of mine knew him. While i was identifying the person, he immediately said ‘Oh the manly one!’ No fucker, not the manly one-the adventurer, the tough spirited, strong, active, bossy, confident and rebellious one. This goes for the men too. Not all men are like that, some show their emotions and cry, others are not as self confident as they would like to be and therefore are not that rebelious, and i think that is brilliant. Some girls fall for that kind of boys. Some girls are tomboys and that’s fine. I used to be a tomboy in the past and i have pictures to prove it .I grew up with a brother ,and he like it or not, had a great influence on me. Being a tomb boy doesn’t make women less sexier, i even think that’s cuter, it brings out your natural beauty. You should define what’s sexy for you.
“Swear to God, I can’t stand to hear a woman claim that she thinks like a guy and hates women because they’re all catty. That’s misogyny. The very fact that you, as a woman, think differently than how a socially-stereotyped woman is supposed to think is proof that our gender “norms” are fucking us over. Women are not all alike. Some of us like football. Some of us like talking on the phone. Some of us like religion. Some of us are emotional. Some of us speak three languages. Some of us have boyfriends. Some of us have girlfriends. Some of us wear lipstick. Some of us don’t shave our pits. Some of us have kids. Some of us worry we’ll drop our best friend’s baby. Now please stop claiming that you don’t act like a woman. It doesn’t make you a special fucking snowflake. It makes you a perpetrator of misogyny.”
What us as feminists need to fight against is the glamorization of the bad things.
We shine a light on whatever’s worst-Beyonce.
Stop glamorizing pain. Pain is not sexy. Pain is painful and devastating and depressive. My generation is such a depressed generation and I only noticed this when I made my first tumblr. I’d get pictures of people cutting themselves on my dashboard, girls with anorexia and bulimia, disillusioned girls believing they’re bad bitches. I think the media and the songs help in creating depression. I love(D) Lana Del Rey, I think that at this moment she is one of the best song writers and artists. There is no one like her that can paint a picture with words. But I’m completely against what she preaches. On her latest record Lana sings:
I can hear sirens, sirens
He hit me and it felt like a kiss
I can hear violins, violins
Give me all of that ultraviolence- Lana Del Rey
It’s ok to express yourself and the artist in you, and whatever you felt during a certain period but you should always have in mind what you’re promoting especially when you have influence over so many people. I think with this song she took it just way too far. Violence is not glamorous, nor are drugs and alcohol. These are serious things and I hate it when people glamorize them.
“When I look at someone who’s out there partying excessively or rappers rapping about doing drugs, who people look up to, and think, Oh that’s a G; that’s a gangster. I think, You’re actually being a giant pussy. Sorry, but those rockers in the ’80s were the furthest thing from rock stars. They were so insecure and so lonely that they had to do these things to get them through the day. If you’re spending your entire early 20s chasing the next party, what are you running away from? That’s not a badass. What’s a badass is when you can sit through your problems and feel emotions when you don’t want to have them. There have been nights where I’ve had to sit on my hands, because I want to act out, because I physically can’t sit still in the pain I’m dealing with, from looking back and being bullied or other things that happened. And now, as hard as it may be, I will do that. That’s what makes me a badass. Being a badass is handling your shit.”
When was the last time you heard a happy song on the radio? I bet that’s ‘Happy’ by Pharrell. It’s all about heartbreak and pain and cheating and bad bitches and gangstas .
Some will say that after women claim they’re equal to men, they have no right to talk about this issue. I’m not against violence against women. I’m against ANY kind of violence. I know that somewhere out there, there are men ,women and kids being abused and it breaks my heart. It’s really hard to go through something like this. No one wants to talk about it because people are ashamed. Christina Aguilera went through domestic violence and on her record ‘Stripped’ there’s one song that is dedicated to her violent father, a song she sang only once on VH1 Storytellers. I remember when I first bough the record it was ten years ago, anytime I hear ‘I’m Ok’ I get the chills. Aguilera sings:
Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same… To you it’s just a memory, but for me it still lives on… It’s not so easy to forget
All the marks you left along her neck-Christina Aguilera
Her mother left her father, and saved her children, but many other women can’t do that. They’re threatened, they have nowhere to go, they’re not financially secure, they’re too afraid. And yes, it’s easy to judge, to jump and say ‘get your suitcases and your kids and leave’ but the real situation is much more difficult.
To me being a feminist is a must for both men and women. And i think there should be such movement for men. I’m sure there is a lot of pressure and injustice with their gender and some of it comes from us too. Such a movement can indicate the problem and make us work harder to solve it. Women that claim they are not feminists to me are attention seekers, they just want the attention of men, want men to like them and they want to become one of the boys-idiotic. I’m not a perfect feminist, only now do I really discover what feminism is about, but I would surely like to grow as a feminist and into a better woman. I’ve made things in my life that were not feministic at all, but we learn and we grow and develop ourselves. We need feminism. We desperately need it. Injustice is everywhere, just open your eyes and you’ll see. I’m not telling girls to be angry, i’m telling them to be aware. Feminism will help women and men. If we make women more aware of themselves and show them their worth ,they’ll strive for far better things than what society has taught them. Once women start loving themselves there will be no more of the bad boys, and the humiliation of the self. No more hate between women.We need to show women that they can be strong without men.You can create and destruct just like men do.You have the right to exits and express yourself.You’re not powerless,don’t get comfortable in playing the victim,you can rise above anything.I’m gonna end this post with the chorus of Aguilera’s Can’t Hold Us Down:
This is for my girls all around the world
Who’ve come across a man that don’t respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Let them know we’re gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave them proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can’t hold us down!
Makes it so hard not to bite it :)
1) “Probably the most important key is to stop criticizing
yourself. If we tell ourselves that we are okay, no matter what is
going on, we can make changes in our lives easily. It is when we
make ourselves bad that we have great difficulty. We all change ——-
everyone. Every day is a new day, and we do things a little
differently than we did the day before. Our ability to adapt and
flow with the process of life is our power.
Those who have come from dysfunctional homes often have become
super-responsible and have gotten in the habit of judging themselves
unmercifully. They have grown up amidst tension and anxiety. The
message they get as children of dysfunctional homes is: “There must
be something wrong with me.” Think for a moment about the words you
use when scolding yourself. Some of the phrases people tell me are:
stupid, bad boy, bad girl, useless, careless, dumb, ugly, worthless,
sloppy, dirty, etc. Are these the same words you use now when
There is a tremendous need to build self-worth and value in
ourselves, because when we feel not good enough, we find ways to
keep ourselves miserable. We create illness or pain in our bodies;
we procrastinate about things that would benefit us; we mistreat our
bodies with food, alcohol, and drugs.
We are all insecure in some ways because we are human. Let us
learn NOT to pretend that we are perfect. Having to be perfect only
puts immense pressure on ourselves, & it prevents us from looking at
areas of our lives that need healing. Instead, we could discover our
creative distinctions, our individualities, & appreciate ourselves
for the qualities that set us apart from others. Each one of us has
a unique role to play on this earth, and when we are critical of
ourselves, we obscure it.”
2) “We must also stop scaring ourselves. Many of us terrorize
ourselves with frightful thoughts & make situations worse than they
are. We take a small problem and make it into a big monster. It’s a
terrible way to live, always expecting the worst out of life.
Examples: Someone makes a remark at work, and you begin to think
you’re going to be fired. You build these paralyzing thoughts in
your mind. Remember, these frightening thoughts are negative
affirmations. OR, people who are ill often visualize the worst or
they are immediately planning their funerals. OR, someone doesn’t
call you immediately, and you decide that you are totally unlovable
and you’ll never have another relationship again, feeling abandoned
If you find yourself habitually reviewing a negative thought
or situation in your mind, find an image of something you really
would like to replace it with. It could be a beautiful view, or a
sunset, or flowers, a sport, or anything you love. Use that image as
your switch-to image every time you find that you are scaring
yourself. Say to yourself, “No, I’m not going to think about that
anymore. I’m going to think about sunsets, roses, Paris, yachts or
waterfalls, or whatever your image is.” If you keep doing this,
eventually you will break the habit.”
3) “Another way is to be gentle and kind and patient with
yourself. Impatience is a resistance to learning. We want the
answers without learning the lesson or doing the steps that are
necessary. Think of your mind as if it were a garden. If you take
loving care and attention to this garden, it gradually keeps
improving and will blossom. The same with your mind —- you select
the thoughts that will nurtured, & with patience they grow and
contribute to creating the garden of experiences you want.”
4) “We must learn to be kind to our minds. Let’s not hate
ourselves for having negative thoughts. We can think of our thoughts
as building us up rather than beating us up. We don’t have to blame
ourselves for negative experiences, but can learn from these
experiences. Being kind to ourselves means we stop all blame, all
guilt, all punishment, and all pain. Relaxation is absolutely
necessary for tapping into the Power within, because if you are
tense & frightened, you shut off your energy. As you become tense,
take a few deep breaths, close your eyes, and release whatever
tension you are carrying. As you exhale, become centered & say to
yourself silently: “I love you. All is Well.” You will then notice
how much calmer you feel.”
5) “The next step is to praise yourself. Criticism breaks down
the inner spirit, and praise builds it up. When you berate yourself,
you belittle the Power that created you. Begin with little things.”
6) “Loving yourself means supporting yourself. Reach out to
friends and allow them to help you. You really are being strong when
you ask for help when you need it. Support groups can help, like 12
7) “Love your negatives. No matter what negative situation you
are in, it’s there for a reason; otherwise you wouldn’t have it in
8) “Take care of your body.” Drug and alcohol abuse, overeating,
and smoking are just some of the substances we take into our bodies
to numb out the pain, and deal with life better. But, the sad fact
is that it doesn’t help make it better. Take care of yourself,
exercise regularly so your body can help support you in whatever
comes your way.
9) “I often emphasize the importance of mirror work in order to
find out the cause of an issue that keeps us from loving ourselves.
Try looking in the mirror the first thing in the morning and say, “I
love you. What can I do for you today? How can I make you happy?”
Listen to your inner voice, and start following through with what
you hear. Then, if something unpleasant happens to you during the
day, go to the mirror and say: “I love you anyway.”
Affirmations performed in front of a mirror are advantageous
because you learn the truth of your existence. When you do an
affirmation and you immediately hear a negative response such
as, “Who are you kidding? It can’t be true. You don’t deserve that”,
that is a gift you can use. You cannot make the changes you want
until you are willing to see what is holding you back. The negative
response you have just discovered is like a gift in that it becomes
the key to freedom. Turn that negative response into a positive
affirmation such as: “I now deserve all good. I allow good
experiences to fill my life.” Repeat the new affirmation until it
does become a new part of your life.”
10) “Finally, love yourself now — don’t wait until you get it
right. Dissatisfaction with yourself is a habit pattern. If you can
be satisfied with yourself now, if you can love and approve of
yourself now, then when good comes into your life, you will be able
to enjoy it. Once you learn to love yourself, you can begin to love
and accept other people. We can’t change other people, so leave them
This lesson was written by Louise L. Hay, in her book called “The
Power is Within You” published by Hay House, Inc.
Dukes up-you gotta fight
till the end,die hard.-Me
Today was a beautiful day with my dearest :)